Bad Attitudes


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I was just wondering if any of y'all have advice on how to deal with bad attidudes with in a youth group. To give some background to my question. I have a young lady (I hesitate on the lady part) in my group who seems to be nothing but a problem. She is contantly mouthing off to myself and the other teens. Her home situtation is not good. Her Mother is a single parent who doesn't attend church and is a bit permisscuace. I feel the need to reach out to this girl but can not figure out how. She has turned off most adults in the congregation with her attitude. I am almost to the point of asking her not to come back, in an attempt to not hinder the other kids. What do you think?


3 Responses to “Bad Attitudes”

  1. Blogger Jason Retherford 

    Bad attitudes!

    Righteous. Welcome to youth ministry, lol. In all seriousness, have you talked to her about her behavior? I'd be willing to be that her acting out in class, and in church is one way (however unacceptable it is) for her to get attention. Being from a single parent home, she may not get to spend as much time with her monther as she would like, and being that her home life is rocky, the sort of behavior that she exhibits may be acceptable at home.

    First, and foremost, pray. Ask God to help you effictively minister to this young girl. Also, ask God to point you in the direction of an older couple, or older mature woman who can take this gal under her wing. If this teen is craving attention, any attention she gets from anyone is going to be appreciated. Being that you are still fairly green to this youth ministry thing, you have to keep on working ob building trust with your kids. Don't focus on what other ministries are doing, but focus on what God is and can do through your ministry where you are at Turner Rd.

    Just a random question, have you tried talking to her mother? What grade is this girl in? You might even try to contact her school, and speak with her teachers to get a feel for how she is the class room, only with mom's approval first. Find out what this girl likes to do, and always try to include her in your youth group plans.

    Reaching out to teens that drive you nuts is a noble ideal. It's one of this wiring detalis that God has plagued us youth workers with. I will be praying for you as well. Hope this helps brother.

  2. Blogger B.Cross 

    Jason, Yes I have spoken with her mother. She says she has the same problem. Appanently, due to problems at school she is attending an anger management program.

  3. Blogger CL 

    New guy to the forum but I have dealt with this issue, And I would like to share what has worked (and is working) for me. We have a couple of these issues, and for some reason they are both girls. You have recieved some awesome advice, one thing I have also done is to pull aside some of our more positive girls and ask them to team with me on this issue. It wasn't an overnight success, but after a focus from some of my girls in which they have spent much time themselves in major patience and prayer, it is working. I asked a group of three girls per one with a bad attitude to take on the project and God is blessing the outcome. All I asked them to do to make it part of their personal ministry to help each find a positive mental state, and to encourage each other, even if you have to go out of your way to do it, then to lean on me for support and encouragement as well as advice themselves. Peer relationships can make or break your ministry and when you can get your kids to support each other, like we try and do (I hope most of the time) in the church, blessings flow. And when our teens take active leadership roles in our youth groups it makes it that much more important to them. That is what God intended the church to be, a place where we could each with our own struggles and pain find encouragement and support. Just some thoughts, God bless you guys!

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