4 Responses to “Adolescence”

1.  Jason Retherford  on 11/09/2005 8:55 AM  

   My two cents on Hurt:
   
   Cultural shifts in this country have turned the tables if you will of what our grandparents "knew" as decent. We live in a world today vastly different than our grandparent's world. Beyond the Internet, and cell phones we live a in world where our children are taught to question the validity of everything they are taught. We are told to find our own way in this world. Only don't condemn others if your way varies in anyway from some one else's path. We live in a society that has extended adolescence, whether intentionally or unintentionally through various institutional shifts (farming communities to a public school phenomenon). Not only have we extended adolescence, we've confused the demarcation of adult hood and have systematically abandoned our young so that as adults we may find our own path.
   
   The crises in the family today is not so much that our kids are experimenting with drugs, alcohol and sexual promiscuity, but that as parents we've by and large cut the communication lines with our kids. Somewhere, someone convinced parents that what we needed was to befriend our children for their emotional, physically and spiritual well-being. What has this produced for us? Teenagers who are confused about their place in the world. Kids who are confused about what it means to be kids. Teens who mimic what they see in the hypocritical live of the adults they encounter. The adults that do spend time with our teens are the ones they watch on television or see on movies. Our kids become what we are. If we quit engaging our kids, they will quit engaging us. Sure some of this happens, I don't many teens that don't pull back from mom and dad a little now and then, but when individuation occurs, and it will we mustn't allow change keep us from being actively involved in the lives of our kids.
   
   Our teens are the most stressed out, hurried, and worried generations of kids in any time since the creation of man. What are we doing to help them disengage from the cultural demands that weigh them down and take a lighter load?
   
   I know in our busy worlds we make excuses for neglecting family, church things, and other important social groupings. We have all this stuff, and more really is more and the more we accumulate the less time it seems we have for the ones most important to us. If you are a parent of a teen, here is simply scary truth: Teens today aren't like your generation. What you remember about high school and peer groups, etc., is vastly different today. Our kids today learn to wear masks to fit whatever roles they are playing at the time. If you spend anytime listening to the heart cries of American teens today, you will hear loneliness and hurt. Adolescents need us adults, and we need them.
   
   Brain you wrote and asked:
   "Have you recognized the need to re-think how we do youth ministry so that we can more effectively minister to today's adolescence? Please share.'
   
   I think that we certainly need to rethink the way we minister to youth. Kendra Casey Dean makes a statement that in order to reach this generation of teenagers with the gospel, that youth workers are going to need to be the best trained, best equipped ever. I think she is right. We do need to rethink YM, but let's do so theologically and may we let that theology spill over into our praxis. I know for the first two years of my experience in YM, I was a poiesis kind of guy. Poiesis is shooting from the hip. We need to have a plan, and then work the plan. But the question we all need to ask is how are we doing to God's standards?
   
   Thanks for your thoughts!

2.  Anonymous  on 11/09/2005 11:23 AM  

   jason - that was a really great post. very well said.
   
   for what its worth, you guys really are helping me out these days. i recognize some of your names from the old YS forum. i used to hang out there a bit, but never said much. wonder if that place will ever get up and running again?
   
   thanks...
   
   -sam

3.  Gerrard Fess  on 11/09/2005 12:01 PM  

   In an academic setting I would recommend HURT. In discussing this book with several other youthworkers in a Roundtable - the basic premise or rather conclusion came to be is how can we get parents, youthworkers etc. to read this and understand where our teens are coming from?

4.  Brian Eberly  on 11/09/2005 12:08 PM  

   Great question Gman. I do know that Chap is currently working on a much more user friendly parent edition. It should be out sometime next year.

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